A Poll of Two: Walz vs. Vance Post-Mortem

Various and Sundry live-watched the VP debates last night--but didn’t always see eye to eye…

Various: Jesus

Candidates doing their own fact-checking of each other

It’s total BS

It’s already a moving of the goal post

[Moderator Margaret Brennan asks: Governor Walz, if you are the final voice in the situation room, would you support or oppose a preemptive strike by Israel on Iran?]

Walz is def off

Sundry: He will warm up

Various: Yes but he’s a little off his game

Thank God Vance is such a wooden statue

Sundry: Walz already won he can speak in complete sentences that don’t freak people out

Various: Walz needs to mention Obama’s Nuclear treaty right away

Walz for the win

Right there

Sundry: Yes exactly

I like his blue tie

[Moderator asks Vance to address the same question on Iran.]

Sundry: Where’s Iran?

Various: hahaha

Sundry: Oh it’s in Kentucky *sideways laughing/crying emojis*

Trump stability!!

Various: Vance blowing his two minutes

Sundry: I-Ran From This question

Various: EYERan

[MB: Senator Vance, according to CBS News polling, seven in ten Americans and more than 60% of Republicans under the age of 45 favor the U.S. taking steps to try and reduce climate change. Senator, what responsibility would the Trump administration have to try and reduce the impact of climate change?]

Various: Okay, so we’re getting actual facts

Sundry: Yes

Vance doesn’t know this answer LOL

Various: Fuck I lost my sound

Sundry: FIRST OF ALL MARGARET YOU IGNORANT SLUT

Various: Hahahah

Sundry: Two women

Vance is sweating

Here we go

Climate change is a rumor spread about by people whose houses blew away

Crazy weather patterns

Weird science

Sort of like how rape is an inconvenience

Various: Totally

Let’s just say science is true

Sundry: Yes inconvenient truth!

Various: Blaming Kamala for Biden’s policy

Sundry:

Various: Totally

Sundry: Trump has his own natural gas emissions

Various: Imagine the methane in that courtroom

Sundry: Oh now he’s gonna twist himself into a pretzel

Vance is an idiot

And a liar

Various: The hosts are like Jane Curtin with Jane Curtin

[MB: The crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border consistently ranks as one of the top issues for American voters. Senator Vance, your campaign is pledging to carry out the largest mass deportation plan in American history and to use the U.S. military to do so. Could you be more specific about exactly how this will work?]

Sundry: Mass deportation! Vance and Trump! Our wives will be first

That’s what I thought Jane you ignorant slut

Criminal migrants! Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio

Various: Yes, but Vance makes the BS sound sane

It’s easier to lie than to remember facts

Sundry: Drug trafficking mules

Various: The amount of missing kids is 3,400

They all say 340,000

It’s a blatant lie

Sundry: What a bunch of bullshit. All the Republicans even tossed the blame on Trump

[MB: Governor, do you care to respond to any of those specific allegations, including that the Vice President is, quote, "letting in fentanyl and using kids as drug mules, among other things…"]

Various: [Walz] should simply say fentanyl doesn’t come from illegal border crossings. It only comes through legal points of entry. It’s a fake issue using victims of addiction as a political prop for a fake argument.

Sundry: Trump earlier tonight

Various: fake*

Sundry: Meanwhile Mexico got a female Jewish president today

Various: THEY DO NOT USE CHILDREN AS DRUG MULES

Sundry: If this dickwad wins we will all be crossing the border in the other direction

Various: It’s bad business Jesus Christ

Tbh Vance looks calm and Walz looks nervous

Sundry: That’s his energy

Various: Walz is juggling talking points and looking incoherent

Vance is looking smooth

Sundry: !!!!!!!!

Smooth like cardboard

Various: Yeah but TV

Sundry: With oil covering it

I am watching Lone Star

Again

Various: Walz is looking scattered

I’m telling you unless Vance fucks up, his sliminess will win people over

Sundry: Fuck this guy

Honestly he is now LYING

Various: Yeah but it looks good

MAGA will spin it that they censored Vance

There is no emphasis with Walz

It’s like someone trying to beat the clock

He’s more about content and not performance

Sundry: Yeah but [Vance] hasn’t said anything that’s true

Various: Yes but the undecideds don’t know that

And Walz needs to know how to diffuse the BS

Sundry: What undecideds

Various: The people in the center who decide the elections

Sundry: That’s phony baloney made up BS

Various: No

35% on either side always vote party line

The middle 30% decide the election

Sundry: If you have to wait till now to decide there’s no hope and I am moving to Mexico

I will give them this there’s more policy here than in the presidential debate

Various: Yeah, but ugh

Walz needs coaching

Walz is floundering

This is gonna be at best a draw

Sundry: I had to turn Vance volume off

Various: I’m telliing you Vance is winning people over

Sundry: Not on social media

Various: Really?

Sundry: Really. Wait til they get to women

Various: He’s lying low

Vance already smoothed a woman question

All Vance has to say now is, ‘He didn’t answer the question.’

Sundry: Oh he did not smooth that

Various: Walz looks desperate

Sundry: ?????????

Am I watching the same debate?

Various: Yes

Sundry: He’s smirking about Hitler

I think I am behind again re: delay

Various: Yes but the bros will love that smirk.

Sundry: I honestly cannot listen to this piece of shit *poop emoji* one more second

Various: Yes, but it’s working

Where are you hearing it’s not?

Walz has lost the ‘happy coach who knows what he’s doing’ image

Sundry: I am looking at the Wash Post who are saying Vance is more articulate than Trump

But they are not saying that about Walz at all

And I am looking on X

Various: Vance is way more articulate. All they want is a comprehensive facade on the Trump assholeness

They don’t want a desperate fumbling fact-spewer

It’s Gore-ish

Sundry:

Various: The screenshot you sent is what Walz needs to say.

Here we go

Federal ban on abortion

[Moderator Norah O’Donnell: Senator, do you want to respond to the governor's claim? Will you create a federal pregnancy monitoring agency?]

Sundry: OMG WHAT A FUCKING LIE

FUCK THIS MAN TALKING PRO FAMILY

He is a smoother liar than Trump that is all I have gotten from this

Various: Then we are agreeing

Finally you’re hearing what I’m saying

It’s depressing

I wanted Walz to kill it

You’re asleep

Sundry: No I was looking online!

Various: Vance is locking the next 20 years of his career

And I hate him

Sundry: Here’s your girlfriend Heather Cox Richardson:

“Walz’s goal in the debate was to do no harm to Vice President Harris’s campaign, and he achieved that. Vance’s goal was harder: to give people a reason to vote for Donald Trump. It is doubtful he moved any needles there.”

Various: I love her (and you sometimes (lol)) but 1. I disagree and 2. I seriously wonder if that’s based on anything but opinion, as in—polls or a rudimentary scanning of polls or social media.

And yes she is my girlfriend.

Everytime Vance lied about how amazing and wonderful everything was under Trump—the economy, foreign affairs, healthcare, the border—Walz should’ve just said, ‘If it was so great, then why did he lose?’

All the Harris people should be saying that.

Sundry: