Feminista Is Watching This So You Don't Have To: Salem's Lot 2024
By Michelle B. Taylor
It’s the Mossst Wonderful Tiiiime of the Yeeeaarrr!
It’s Spooky SZN and my heart is aflutter. A true horror girlie, October is my favorite month for entertainment, and I am beyond excited about all the scary films and television shows we get to watch this month. If you’re like me, you’ve probably got a full calendar of spooky events lined up and you’re streaming a different horror film daily as we count down to Halloween on October 31st. Ever since my dad had me watch The Making of ‘Thriller’ because I was terrified that Michael Jackson had indeed become a werewolf, I’ve been hooked on horror films!
Streaming now on MAX is a remake of the 1979 cult classic Salem’s Lot, which was based on the book written by horror guru Stephen King. The story follows a writer who returns to his hometown hoping the change of scenery will spark his creativity. However, he soon discovers that vampires are taking over the place. To stop them, he teams up with a young horror enthusiast who knows all about vampires, and together they race against time to save the town before it's completely overrun.
The original aired on CBS and was a two-night miniseries... remember those? The new film whittles down some of the original’s slower-paced moments and keeps it to less than two hours. I’m not sure that was a good idea.
I’ll be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of film remakes. Some treatments, like Cape Fear and The Karate Kid, turn out solid. But for the most part, I rarely come across remakes of classic films that ever needed to be made. Not everything should be updated for younger audiences, ok? The original classic is right there!
That’s how I feel about this new Salem’s Lot. When remakes take a new spin or do something innovative, I can rock with it. But when they’re practically a carbon copy of the original, it’s meh for me. Unfortunately, this remake is uninspired and people should just watch the original series (also streaming on MAX) instead.
Gary Dauberman, the modern horror master known for directing The Conjuring and Annabelle series, is at the helm of this remake, but you wouldn’t know it unless you read the IMDB. I was hoping for elevated horror, something modern and representative of the new directions the genre has taken in the 21st century. Instead, I got a weirdly sepia-toned attempt at recapturing the campy nostalgia of 1970s horror films—one that Gary should pretend he had nothing to do with if asked. You can’t tell if the film is set in 2024 and the people are just behind the times or if it’s supposed to be set in the 1970s or 1980s (the latter is the case). This confusion distracted me the entire time, especially because I couldn’t figure out what the wig on legend and icon Alfre Woodard’s head was trying to do. Woodard, who plays Dr. Cody, was a pleasant bonus, but not even she could stop this film from watching me more than I watched it.
First, it felt rushed. I get that they wanted to keep the story to a manageable time, but there’s a reason the original was a 200-minute miniseries--this is a long story. Part of the spookiness of the original was in the build-up to the climax; we were better able to connect with the characters and the intricacies of the plot.
King’s pacing is a major part of why he’s so highly regarded as a horror writer. Based on the book’s contents, I think they could have made this 2024 version into a full eight-episode limited series and we probably would have been hooked. Instead, viewers are left with a bit of a dizzying story that zooms right past what may have been the most interesting parts.
The fact that the horror is boring kinda defeats the purpose. We barely see any violence and there are hardly any gore shots or good kill scenes. For a film about vampires taking over a town, there wasn’t much in the way of scary chow-downs. There was little that distinguished the vampires from the townies and that was a disappointment. The vamps were lazy, a departure from the 21st-century savvy, sexy, fast-moving vampires of the underworld we’ve grown used to. Yeah, I know they’re sticking to the original idea, but there was a great opportunity to bring the story into the new millennium.
Most importantly, the acting was not awful but also not amazing. Woodard stands out and offers the most, but even she can’t elevate this ensemble. I didn’t sense any real chemistry between the cast mates, which was a big part of the original’s appeal. This story is supposed to be a slow burn that weaves in and out of the interpersonal relationships and the town’s mystery. The 2024 version takes us far away from King’s intentions.
You do not need to watch the remake of Salem’s Lot. I encourage you, instead, to read one of Stephen King’s most popular books for Spooky SZN. Or, if you like, check out some of my horror faves this month:
Nightmare on Elm Street 5: Dream Child
The Hills Have Eyes
Saw X
The Conjuring
The Black Phone