I Am Convinced Facebook Is A Place Where Friendships Go To Die

Especially when folks come out of the woodwork just to get in your business--like someone did to me after I posted this photo.

I had had a rough week emotionally. You know: life was life-ing, as it is prone to do, and I needed a pick-me-up. Luckily, my college roommate Karen and I had planned a while ago to attend the Rutgers University Homecoming football game after I had scored some seats. (My daughter is a senior at Rutgers, BTW.) Karen is a HUGE college football fan (coming from Detroit, Michigan who wouldn’t be?) and although she lives in Manhattan, she was willing to jump on the NJ Transit train to meet me (which I love her for), and off we went to the game.

( I promise I will get to the Facebook part in a minute. But first, let me set the scene.)

The brilliance of the autumn leaves, the excited attendees, the parking space I found for free within walking distance of the stadium, all of it was working out that day. Karen and I had seats right in the end zone, Section 115, Row 1, seats 1 and 2. She even said to me, “How is this real? We aren’t worthy, lol.” We got our hot dogs, popcorn, potato chips, water, and another adult beverage and made our way to our seats. Here is some of the pageantry we witnessed:

I was all like, these college booster programs are legit if fireworks are included.

The Rutgers mascot is a Scarlet Knight, and he takes his job seriously.

These dudes lit up that cannon and shot it every time Rutgers made a touchdown, a field goal, or a 3-point conversion. The sound was deafening and made us jump every single time they did it.

I was a high school football cheerleader once, but our uniforms weren’t nearly as cute as these. Far from it!

The game was so much fun, I couldn’t wait to post a picture of our perfect day on the ‘gram, because I was truly happy.

Until I wasn’t.

My Instagram also posts to my Facebook because I like to multi-task and save time. Little did I know that there would be haters I had failed to purge from my friends list laying in the cut for me.

So I posted the picture you saw at the beginning of this diatribe and “B” on Facebook decided that she should chime in. Not with a compliment, a Like, or a Heart emoji. This chick said one thing: “Where’s J?”

Now, this is someone I have not heard from in about a year or so. Certainly not someone I expected to comment on my happy photo. And that question? I. Was. Not. Amused. *heavy hand-clap emojis for emphasis*

You see, J is my ex-husband. We recently divorced, but that is neither here nor there. The idea that someone would suggest that I never went anywhere without my (ex) husband proves they really didn’t know me at all. Moreover (I love that word), even if it did seem odd that J wasn’t there, why would you put me on blast for all of my Facebook friends to see?! She was digging for some dirt but doesn’t know me well enough to know that I can see through that shit like the clear plastic tote bags Rutgers makes you carry your stuff in when you come to the stadium because of safety protocols and such.

So, I did what any self-respecting adult would do: I unfriended and blocked her.

I’m not saying that Facebook is a cesspool—although it can be, at times. All I am saying is, if you have not reached out to someone in quite a while to say hello, check up on them, or ask how the family is doing, what gives you the right to step into their comments section demanding answers to questions for which you have not earned enough emotional capital to ask?

Maybe it was just an innocent question and I should give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m skeptical, but I’d like to know what you think, so please leave me your theories in the comments section.