Up until when my wife civilized me in my late 30s, all of my silverware was stolen from the Purdue dining halls. Most of my glasses were stolen from bars. And all my plates were accumulated from other roommates. Nothing matched and I had a favorite of everything.
Somebody get this woman a sitcom! She’s self-deprecatingly funny, a dry rolling wit, and a shot glass size of quirky that makes you want more! The Fork, could and should be it’s own episode as we can a relate to this article. Good stuff!
Awwww, Tanya! 💛💛💛 From your mouth to Goddess's ears! Up next for AJPT will be an anti-wellness article full of all kinds of fun-poking against the Hustle-Wellness Paradox culture so be on the look-out for more "episodes." Thanks for giving it a read!!!!
Ohhh, it's a comin'! I have other alternative titles that will birth more "riffing on mental health stuff but with a comedy twist" such as "Dry brushing did NOT, in fact, solve my catastrophizing anxiety" or "I wonder why I have to stir “no stir” peanut butter while my reproductive rights are being taken away"....;) 😎
Somebody get this woman a sitcom! She’s self deprecatingly funny, a dry rolling wit, with a shot glass size of quirky that keeps you wanting more. The Fork (everyone can relate to) could and should be a sitcom with the right cast- including Genevieve. Good stuff!
I have a titanium spork. I paid ten bucks for it when I was in some random band van 25 years ago. It never leaves my person. I have probably ate 95% of my meals with it since I got it.
Wow! In my cutlery drawer, I have nothing nearly as great as that but it's a mix of the stuff I bought myself that is way way too light and not quite big enough (I like a hefty long fork - doesn't everyone?)and then those perfect utensils that are one offs and probably came with dishes people left at my house after potlucks. I scramble through the drawer for one of those every time. I would love to hear from even one person who is not bothered by a lightweight – or God forbid plastic – fork. With too-short tines!
I mean, you’re right of course. You know people like me, heck you know people in that van with me, it stunts our development. I stole a fork from Marquette University on the first day of Jackie’s grad school orientation in the 90’s that I still have. A fork can resonate with us.
I assume you have things like a favorite mug. An ex and I just spent some time reflecting on the perfect bowls we found. And how when we split, she took three and I took one. Some of this is made more significant by the van, or traveling. The woman who handles Steve Millers publishing gifted me a cool Sagittarius mug, and I have some from Stone Creek Coffee, and they are all cool stories to me. Factor in bachelorhood and no children, and I am left to sit home thinking about this. And do not get me started on the Jansport Super Sac
I relate to all of this so much and I'm also realizing we must know a lot of people in common. That was really nice of you to just take one of the bowls for yourself. I did something similar with a bunch of Andy Warhol prints that my dad left behind Where I gave them to my siblings.
It is strange to judge commonality after so many years, I think. Like, young Nic Cage frequented my LA home 1000 years ago, but I cannot imagine every figuring out how to bridge that gap. Have you seen the 'Herb and Dorothy' documentary? As a childless 54 year old, those are my collecting heroes. My niece can figure it out after I am gone.
I would rather HAND SHOVEL FOOD into my ever-loving gob than use a plastic fork! (JK: but still….it would bug me). Who knew EVERYONE has a favorite fork?!? Loving all these comments! ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥🍴🍴🍴
I too want to be described in great detail, twirl in pasta like a ballerina, to be searched for and chosen time and time again. Wait… do I want to be my favorite fork?
This was so unbelievably funny and made me very jealous. I have yet to find my favorite fork, but I’ve definitely found a lot of forks that I don’t like. This was the little ray of sunshine that I needed today!
When looking at the big picture, it’s impossible to not be overwhelmed and feel at least a little helpless. Cutting out the noise to focus on specific, personal details in my day-to-day keeps me from going off the rails too. One has to be a functioning particle within a wave. “What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?” says David Mitchell in Cloud Atlas. Lovely, funny piece you’ve written, Ms. Sage ✌️❤️
Well, both my grandmother and grandfather had the surname Pratt when they got married (don't ask) and my grandmother had 21 siblings. So if you're from anywhere in the North Carolina or Virginia area, we probably should not procreate.
Please let it be so!!! I also lost my “V Card” to someone with the last name “Pratt” — talk about a FORK OF DESTINY!!!! Guess I have a thing for that name!!!!🍴😉😎
Hahaha, I relate to so much here! I’m an artist so of course that means expert server/ bartender/ caterer 😅 I don’t have a fork of destiny (you are BLESSED) but I do have a favourite fork that has the perfect curve in its stem and beautiful little stars that I’ve made wishes on… definitely stashed some high-end wine in ridiculous places. Somewhere along the way, it became tradition for me to bring home a red & white cloth gingham napkin every time I visited one of my favourite restaurants in the city, which I won’t mention the name of… my kitchen is peppered with them. Don’t tell Café Select!
Thanks so much, Sarah! Doing our "time" in the food&bev industry should have earned up some STARS and stripes, for sure. And I get a gingham napkin lure. I'll never tell! ;)
Haha I love you. Also, I didn't ask it in my note above, but I'm wondering how many of us here also have stolen items in our homes. I can raise my hand a few times on that....
the stories my mother would gladly share with you…as a kid, i would steal things from her or my brother and put them in a labeled box under my bed: “mom’s stuff” or “kyle’s stuff” i just liked their things, what.
HAHA. I love this secret klepto speakeasy so much. I'm sure Genevieve can provide all the half stolen bottles of wine needed to open it! (I kid, I kid.)
Yes!! We could offer drinks with names like, "Sticky Fingers" or "The Heist" and "The Pickpocket" and the secret door would behind a restaurant walk-in fridge!
This was screamingly funny--mostly because I can absolutely identify with your references to restaurant work. I worked in just about every type of restaurant job there is, and hoo boy.
Also: I'm with you. I bet Gwyneth has a 7th guest house. It's probably in Newport.
Andy, your comments are killing me across-the-board! Thank you! But I swear there is no seventh guest house that I'm aware of. Although maybe at one of the other homes.
Up until when my wife civilized me in my late 30s, all of my silverware was stolen from the Purdue dining halls. Most of my glasses were stolen from bars. And all my plates were accumulated from other roommates. Nothing matched and I had a favorite of everything.
"I had a favorite of everything." I love that and it describes many men I have known.
We’re Twinsies! 👯♀️👯
Somebody get this woman a sitcom! She’s self-deprecatingly funny, a dry rolling wit, and a shot glass size of quirky that makes you want more! The Fork, could and should be it’s own episode as we can a relate to this article. Good stuff!
I will happily work as a PA on that!
Awwww, Tanya! 💛💛💛 From your mouth to Goddess's ears! Up next for AJPT will be an anti-wellness article full of all kinds of fun-poking against the Hustle-Wellness Paradox culture so be on the look-out for more "episodes." Thanks for giving it a read!!!!
More please!
Agreed! And there will be more coming soon. Xo
Ohhh, it's a comin'! I have other alternative titles that will birth more "riffing on mental health stuff but with a comedy twist" such as "Dry brushing did NOT, in fact, solve my catastrophizing anxiety" or "I wonder why I have to stir “no stir” peanut butter while my reproductive rights are being taken away"....;) 😎
Somebody get this woman a sitcom! She’s self deprecatingly funny, a dry rolling wit, with a shot glass size of quirky that keeps you wanting more. The Fork (everyone can relate to) could and should be a sitcom with the right cast- including Genevieve. Good stuff!
I have a titanium spork. I paid ten bucks for it when I was in some random band van 25 years ago. It never leaves my person. I have probably ate 95% of my meals with it since I got it.
Wow! In my cutlery drawer, I have nothing nearly as great as that but it's a mix of the stuff I bought myself that is way way too light and not quite big enough (I like a hefty long fork - doesn't everyone?)and then those perfect utensils that are one offs and probably came with dishes people left at my house after potlucks. I scramble through the drawer for one of those every time. I would love to hear from even one person who is not bothered by a lightweight – or God forbid plastic – fork. With too-short tines!
I mean, you’re right of course. You know people like me, heck you know people in that van with me, it stunts our development. I stole a fork from Marquette University on the first day of Jackie’s grad school orientation in the 90’s that I still have. A fork can resonate with us.
A fork can resonate with us. Well stated!
I assume you have things like a favorite mug. An ex and I just spent some time reflecting on the perfect bowls we found. And how when we split, she took three and I took one. Some of this is made more significant by the van, or traveling. The woman who handles Steve Millers publishing gifted me a cool Sagittarius mug, and I have some from Stone Creek Coffee, and they are all cool stories to me. Factor in bachelorhood and no children, and I am left to sit home thinking about this. And do not get me started on the Jansport Super Sac
I relate to all of this so much and I'm also realizing we must know a lot of people in common. That was really nice of you to just take one of the bowls for yourself. I did something similar with a bunch of Andy Warhol prints that my dad left behind Where I gave them to my siblings.
It is strange to judge commonality after so many years, I think. Like, young Nic Cage frequented my LA home 1000 years ago, but I cannot imagine every figuring out how to bridge that gap. Have you seen the 'Herb and Dorothy' documentary? As a childless 54 year old, those are my collecting heroes. My niece can figure it out after I am gone.
I would rather HAND SHOVEL FOOD into my ever-loving gob than use a plastic fork! (JK: but still….it would bug me). Who knew EVERYONE has a favorite fork?!? Loving all these comments! ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥🍴🍴🍴
HAHAHAHA. In the rare occasion I do have to eat with a plastic fork (picnics? children's parties?) I feel like the saddest version of myself.
I would rather do that too! And I DO!
Are we SAMESIES?!?!?
Fun-tastic read 💎💕💎
Awww! And fun-tastic comment!!
Thanks ever so! Don't tell my old bosses all the sh*t I stole...;) 🐼
I too want to be described in great detail, twirl in pasta like a ballerina, to be searched for and chosen time and time again. Wait… do I want to be my favorite fork?
These comments get more and more intriguing. Please let's keep this thread going. And please write something longer form for
AJPT, would you??
This was so unbelievably funny and made me very jealous. I have yet to find my favorite fork, but I’ve definitely found a lot of forks that I don’t like. This was the little ray of sunshine that I needed today!
And your comment was the ray of sunshine I needed for mine! In all seriousness, thank you!
When looking at the big picture, it’s impossible to not be overwhelmed and feel at least a little helpless. Cutting out the noise to focus on specific, personal details in my day-to-day keeps me from going off the rails too. One has to be a functioning particle within a wave. “What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?” says David Mitchell in Cloud Atlas. Lovely, funny piece you’ve written, Ms. Sage ✌️❤️
Are we related??
Not to my knowledge! I’m one of Genevieve’s students.
Well, both my grandmother and grandfather had the surname Pratt when they got married (don't ask) and my grandmother had 21 siblings. So if you're from anywhere in the North Carolina or Virginia area, we probably should not procreate.
Now THIS piece of family history needs to be written about, Jane!!!! Juicy family tree!!! 🌳
OK, thanks and making a note for the memoir now!
Please let it be so!!! I also lost my “V Card” to someone with the last name “Pratt” — talk about a FORK OF DESTINY!!!! Guess I have a thing for that name!!!!🍴😉😎
I just cracked up at Fork of destiny. I never liked the last name Pratt growing up but now I'm finally warming up to it, thanks to you all!
stop it!!
Va-voom 😎
Thank you!!!! We cling to what we can control on a micro-level just to have a slice of sanity in our day! 🍽️
Hahaha, I relate to so much here! I’m an artist so of course that means expert server/ bartender/ caterer 😅 I don’t have a fork of destiny (you are BLESSED) but I do have a favourite fork that has the perfect curve in its stem and beautiful little stars that I’ve made wishes on… definitely stashed some high-end wine in ridiculous places. Somewhere along the way, it became tradition for me to bring home a red & white cloth gingham napkin every time I visited one of my favourite restaurants in the city, which I won’t mention the name of… my kitchen is peppered with them. Don’t tell Café Select!
Hahaha! I'm also now dying to see that fork with the stars. It sounds beautiful and lucky. PS I wish on stars almost every single night. It works!
Wish - when intention shall happen ✨🌱🌙
How have I never heard that before? It's perfect.
Thanks so much, Sarah! Doing our "time" in the food&bev industry should have earned up some STARS and stripes, for sure. And I get a gingham napkin lure. I'll never tell! ;)
I really want to see a picture of the starry fork so I can look for one of my own at every vintage place I ever go from now on.
“sentimental minimalist with mild kleptomania” this is how i’m explaining myself to family members from now on, thank youuu.
Haha I love you. Also, I didn't ask it in my note above, but I'm wondering how many of us here also have stolen items in our homes. I can raise my hand a few times on that....
the stories my mother would gladly share with you…as a kid, i would steal things from her or my brother and put them in a labeled box under my bed: “mom’s stuff” or “kyle’s stuff” i just liked their things, what.
Hahahha! And so organized! I love this visual.
We’re in a secret club!!!! Let’s open a Speak Easy!!! 🍸
i’m in!! three knocks and a photo of the last sentimental object we “borrowed” as our key to enter?
HAHA. I love this secret klepto speakeasy so much. I'm sure Genevieve can provide all the half stolen bottles of wine needed to open it! (I kid, I kid.)
we’re all counting on her here 😆
Corynne -- YOU GET ME!
Perfect. I'm in too
Yes!! We could offer drinks with names like, "Sticky Fingers" or "The Heist" and "The Pickpocket" and the secret door would behind a restaurant walk-in fridge!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
1000% brilliant
This was screamingly funny--mostly because I can absolutely identify with your references to restaurant work. I worked in just about every type of restaurant job there is, and hoo boy.
Also: I'm with you. I bet Gwyneth has a 7th guest house. It's probably in Newport.
Andy, your comments are killing me across-the-board! Thank you! But I swear there is no seventh guest house that I'm aware of. Although maybe at one of the other homes.
This is so good, too funny and so relatable! I have a favorite weird little cup I always turn to for comfort:)
Thank you so much! We all need our creature comforts! In your case: CREATURE CUPS! 💛