One time a guy from DoorDash tried to say this to me but I thought he was actually asking if I was okay and just getting my name wrong - so I got all earnest and he was like “no, like, Michael Jackson” and I just smiled and took my dumplings and ate them in shame
Okay I’ve been on a deep dive on ketamine therapy… the fact that it’s the only Instagram ads I get makes me thinks it’s a sign. Or Zuckerberg being really good at his job. Either way - thanks for this because maybe that’s my next piece. Is there one in particular that you feel the most connected to?
they all did different things for me. very short version -
psilocybin: helped come to terms with traumas i didn't realize were traumas and fully becoming ~one with nature~ (sorry, the reason people talk so dorkily about psychedelic experiences is because you're trying to pin words on a completely nonverbal experience... getting out of my word brain and into my nonverbal one was crucial too!!)
LSD: slowed people down enough to allow me to read their nonverbal signals clearly
MDMA: helped me realize that other people aren't (usually) threats, they're as vulnerable and scared as i am
nitrous: i had this feeling of - "i am completely comfortable with myself" that i was able to carry over into sober life (i used to be the opposite - completely shame filled - as the inimitable Cat Marnell put it - "I am the only person like this in the entire world, and I will throw myself off the motherfucking roof if anybody ever finds out the truth about me")
and ketamine... yes, that was my favourite. it completely rewired my brain and opened up new ways of connecting with people.
I feel seen because SAME… “I cried about farmers picking up pigs to have them see the stars for the first time because they can’t look up like that apparently.”
Actively crying thinking about you crying about the pigs
LJ – that was probably my favorite line in the entire entire article! It's brilliant and brilliant the way Ani just slipped it in there like nobody's business. Her writing kills me. And thank you for recognizing the genius of that line too. I will just cry right along with the two of you now!
Sheila! Thank you - I'm carrying this with me because I still can't really tell if I'm brave or just stubbornly committed to my curiosity to the point of recklessness hahaha. Either way I appreciate you <3
I cannot imagine willingly getting a shot in the neck, and certainly not doing so while awake. You're far braver than I.
I wanted to watch!! But, ya know, my hands ended being preoccupied.
Wow, just WOW. Ani, I admire your desire to acknowledge your doubts about something but push through anyway. That, to me, is freedom.
Vanessa!! Thank you <3 It definitely makes for freedom, wisdom, -- and sometimes a good story. Or cautionary tale, depending on who you ask haha
Annie are you okay are you okay are you okay Annie
One time a guy from DoorDash tried to say this to me but I thought he was actually asking if I was okay and just getting my name wrong - so I got all earnest and he was like “no, like, Michael Jackson” and I just smiled and took my dumplings and ate them in shame
Hahha. I love you
Hahahahah
So sorry to be That Guy, but I cured my PTSD with psychedelics - MDMA. ketamine, LSD, psilocybin, and nitrous.
Okay I’ve been on a deep dive on ketamine therapy… the fact that it’s the only Instagram ads I get makes me thinks it’s a sign. Or Zuckerberg being really good at his job. Either way - thanks for this because maybe that’s my next piece. Is there one in particular that you feel the most connected to?
they all did different things for me. very short version -
psilocybin: helped come to terms with traumas i didn't realize were traumas and fully becoming ~one with nature~ (sorry, the reason people talk so dorkily about psychedelic experiences is because you're trying to pin words on a completely nonverbal experience... getting out of my word brain and into my nonverbal one was crucial too!!)
LSD: slowed people down enough to allow me to read their nonverbal signals clearly
MDMA: helped me realize that other people aren't (usually) threats, they're as vulnerable and scared as i am
nitrous: i had this feeling of - "i am completely comfortable with myself" that i was able to carry over into sober life (i used to be the opposite - completely shame filled - as the inimitable Cat Marnell put it - "I am the only person like this in the entire world, and I will throw myself off the motherfucking roof if anybody ever finds out the truth about me")
and ketamine... yes, that was my favourite. it completely rewired my brain and opened up new ways of connecting with people.
Let's look at having you write this if you haven't already and are interested.
i'd love to!
Sooo good! Subscribed.
YAY! Hi!!!
Welcome aboard!
I feel seen because SAME… “I cried about farmers picking up pigs to have them see the stars for the first time because they can’t look up like that apparently.”
Actively crying thinking about you crying about the pigs
Tearing up all over again tbh.
LJ – that was probably my favorite line in the entire entire article! It's brilliant and brilliant the way Ani just slipped it in there like nobody's business. Her writing kills me. And thank you for recognizing the genius of that line too. I will just cry right along with the two of you now!
I’m constantly blown away by her brilliance. & I’m grateful that you see it so clearly. I’ll see you at the cryFest Jane! ❤️
It's a date
This makes me so happy!!! 🐽
You are one brave cookie!!
Sheila! Thank you - I'm carrying this with me because I still can't really tell if I'm brave or just stubbornly committed to my curiosity to the point of recklessness hahaha. Either way I appreciate you <3
It's true. Ani will try anything (like me!).
A motto that has brought both of us closer to medical professionals than we ever intended hahahaha.
Haha true and well said! And closer to non-medical "professionals" who are claiming to know what they're doing.
I think I need a PTSD shot to get over my PTSD from reading about your awful experience! xx
Well then I highly recommend wearing pants and not a mini slip dress 🙃