It Happened to Me: I Was Duped By a Co-Worker
I got conned by the nicest person I’d ever met.
I was a mid-career advertising copywriter starting a new job I wanted/needed to work out. It wasn’t my dream job, but I decided to make the move with a positive act-as-if attitude. Because all the creative people work in teams, I went to introduce myself to the art director assigned to me—who I’ll call A.D. —and who I learned was also new to the company.
It took me all of two seconds to fall in like with her.
A.D. was just so nice and welcoming. She complimented my trendy outfit and signature red lipstick, even though my general look was the polar opposite of her “Little House on the Prairie wardrobe situation” with a no-makeup chaser. I figured “opposites attract” would be our schtick.
At first, A.D. was unthreatening, open, and honest, sharing details of her family life, career journey, and tidbits about her childhood. I was so comfortable sitting across from my new partner-cum-friend that I shared as well—or should I say overshared—which A.D. eventually used against me.
Her passive aggressiveness was occasional, at first. (Un)subtle hints I now know I chose to ignore: The sigh of relief she breathed that I was 32 to her 36 and not age 25, which she’d guessed I was upon meeting me. Her backhanded compliments about my successful husband who, like hers, was an attorney. The times she watered down presentations I was excited about and made them mediocre. (Yes, she sabotaged her own work just so I wouldn’t be able to produce something I’d be proud of.)
A.D. was beyond solicitous with everyone we worked with, which made her popular. She fetched coffee for the secretary instead of the other way around and carried the agency’s suitcase-size portfolio to client meetings for the account executive who resented the task. Co-workers couldn’t utter A.D.’s name without the kicker: “She’s so nice.”