My Real-Life Golden Bachelorette Journey, Part One

It's hard out here for a sweet and low-key single who's ready to mingle, am-I-right?

I like the lighting in my bathroom, and using my shower curtain as my backdrop.

It’s been about a week since I put myself on blast on AJPT as a 60-year-old single woman who would like to meet some potential suitors. Trust, I have explored the “swipe left, swipe right” scenarios, but they haven’t worked for me. At all.

So, I figured I’d try something new, like allowing total strangers to play matchmaker. (No, I have not taken leave of my senses, although I think a few of my closest friends may feel otherwise at the moment, haha!.) And while it is still early in the process, a little birdy [Jane] told me that two people approached her to throw themselves into the mix right away.

Contender number one just happens to be Jane’s younger brother, who also just happens to live on the other side of the country. So it’s gonna take a minute before we see one another IRL. I’m kinda okay with that because, thanks to technology, he is just a text, email, phone call, or DM away. I’ll let you know how it goes.

As for contender number two, it’s complicated. (And no, I can’t get into it because it might hurt some feelings, including mine, so you’ll just have to make do with the minimal amount of detail I’ve supplied to you, lol.)

As it so happens, last Saturday night after a fun birthday celebration with some of my favorite peeps, I wasn’t quite ready to go back to my apartment just yet. As I got closer to my neighborhood, I heard a DJ spinning songs I really liked, so I decided to follow the music to a local pub where the party was in full swing and treat myself to a nightcap.

There is nothing I enjoy more than a night full of great food, friends, and funny conversations.

I was still dressed in my birthday best—and looking like a snack, I must say—so it amused me when this young guy named Torey sidled up to my table and grabbed himself a seat. Bold, yes, but you know these Zennials…

Anywho, because I do like to flirt, we talked about the music, the fact that it was my birthday, yadda yadda yadda. It was cute and all, but he was clearly only old enough to be my son, not my Cat Zaddy. After a few bon mots, he asked me for my phone number. I tapped him gently on the shoulder and said, “That’s sweet, but no.” I then paid my tab, said goodbye, drifted off into the night to my apartment down the street, and curled up on my couch watching Netflix. It was the perfect ending to a perfect birthday.

I’d still really like to keep all options open because that’s what makes the most sense—I mean, would Joan from ABC’s The Golden Bachelorette choose the first fellow who caught her eye? I think not because, first of all, that does not make for good television ratings and, b) when you cast a wider net, you never know what you might catch!

So listen, if there is someone who you think would be fun for me to meet, please send them my way via vanessa@anotherjaneprattthing.com. And I hope by next week this time, I’ll have more juicy anecdotes to share with you—or better yet, some sweet ones. Wish me luck!