Unpopular Opinion: I Don't Want To Go Skiing

Cold? Wet? Bruises? Special Equipment? I can drink Swiss Miss at home.

Hey, it’s Jane here and before you delve into today's Unpopular Opinion post, here's a reminder to send me your unpopular opinions, which I would love to publish and pay you for, at jane@anotherjaneprattthing.com. Or just write me about anything there that you like. I love when that specific mailbox has stuff in it. Some of the emails are really cryptic (like maybe written after taking sleep medication?), but I don't even mind those and try to find the hidden messages in them. And, as anyone here can tell you, I do always respond - often at 3 AM, if you're someone who wants to turn alerts off.

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I Love You today and every day!

-Jane (I know I said that already) xo

Me with my #1 best dog, Murray, going somewhere that isn't the ski slopes (while still staying warm in a puffer jacket and hat)

By Janine Annett

My son just returned to school after February break, and after his first day back, he came home and reported that many of his friends went skiing over the vacation. For just a moment, I felt a flash of Mom Guilt™. I have never taken my child skiing and he’s in eighth grade already! But you know what? I come from generations of non-skiers, and my child is going to be a fourth-generation non-skier (at least! I never met my great-grandparents on either side of my family, but I would bet a million dollars—except no one in my family has a million dollars—that they did not ski). My husband also did not grow up skiing.

Here’s the thing: I don’t want to go skiing.

My very own apres-ski situation, with no need for the skiing part.

First of all, I hate cold weather. Yes, I have lived in New York for 99% of my life (we don’t talk about the 2-3 years when I moved away), and every winter it’s cold. You would think I’d be used to it by now. And I am, sort of. I’m used to being miserable. “But you could try to enjoy winter by going skiing,” people have told me. If I hate the cold, I don’t think being outside in it for hours at a time is going to help me enjoy it. It will still be… cold. The only thing worse than being cold is being cold and wet, and with snow involved in skiing, that seems like a distinct possibility. I don’t want to do an activity that could give me frostbite or a broken limb.

“But have you ever tried it?” friends ask me. Yes, once, when I was a kid and a friend’s family took pity on me and my family’s non-skiing ways (this may have something to do with the fact that my father was afraid of heights and my mother is allergic to doing anything outside) and took me skiing. We spent some time on the “bunny slope” (ugh), and I guess, did some skiing? I must not have been too impressed, because I never went back. One time, in college, a friend of mine who was a pretty die-hard skateboarder and snowboarder took me snowboarding and tried to teach me how to do it. I felt bad because I knew I was holding my friend back from really doing his thing—plus, I fell down so much that I had more bruises from that one day than I ever had in my whole life leading up to that day. You would think, as someone with a large butt, that all that padding would have prevented so much bruising. Alas, it did not.

See the cozy blanket, and all those books? They aren't going to read themselves!

Skiing is also expensive. You need a ski pass, you have to rent or buy skis, I think you need special pants/gloves/goggles/helmets, and a place to stay if you don’t feel like driving hours in the dark (because it’s dark for 900 hours a day in the winter) to and from a ski resort. I would rather spend all that money going somewhere warm—although I never seem to have the time or money to go somewhere tropical during the cold months, so I just stay home and marinate in my own winter misery.

“It’s all about the apres-ski,” one friend told me. So…the part where you’re not skiing. I can do that without leaving my house. I have a fireplace (sort of, it’s not a wood-burning fireplace, but a gas-powered one). I can drink hot cocoa by the (sort of) fire, all for the price of some Swiss Miss. Because I am not, and never will be, a Swiss Miss myself.

“It would be hilarious if you try to ski!” some of my friends have told me. Yes, this is undoubtedly true. But I think it would be less hilarious if I end up in the emergency room in a full-body cast after I wipe out on the ski slope.

Unfortunately, my son told me that one of his friends is currently on crutches due to a skiing accident incurred over the February break. So there you have it: Skiing is dangerous, not to mention expensive and time-consuming. I’m also pretty sure skiing is bad for the environment. So, by NOT skiing, I am saving the planet, ensuring my child’s safety, preserving my own physical well-being, and doing something good for my mental health (because I am sure I would be frustrated at my inability to ski as I watched seasoned skiers whiz by me).

Ultimately, it’s not my fault that I didn’t grow up skiing, and it’s not like my son is deprived of other opportunities to go places, do things, and participate in other sports. Don’t even get me started on the amount of money I have spent on travel baseball teams, camps, lessons, and equipment or how I regularly get rewards at Dick’s Sporting Goods (my kid loves to go in there and walk around the baseball section, picking up different bats, which he then tells me stories about; I’m ready for him to start his own podcast called Bat Chat).

Sorry, can't ski today. I have to stay home and write things.

Millions of people enjoy skiing every winter. But I’ll just be hibernating and waiting for spring, when the snow melts and my seasonal affective disorder (hopefully) goes away. There’s a reason there are thousands of songs about summer fun, and most of the songs about winter seem to be about how depressing it is.

To be clear, I am not trying to “yuck anyone’s yum” here. If you enjoy skiing, I bid you happy skiing! But I’ll be home in my jammies, reading a book. I won’t be seeing you on the slopes!

In other words, disagree here! Let’s lively debate!!