What got me through last night — and I mean the whole entire overnight, even continuing up until right now — was being on a live chat with all of you beautiful, thoughtful, AJPT smarties while we watched and talked and snacked and gossiped and intentionally derailed our way through the election results as they came in.
I just feel sort of numb and manic at the same time. A long time ago, I was in a dark place and I started medication for anxiety. I feel right now like I did before the meds kicked in. I have things I want to say but they are all coming at me at a million miles an hour. I am afraid if I write them down in a post or have a conversation I will sound like an absolute imbecile. I can't organize my thoughts.
I am not worried about myself. It will not be the life I was hoping to have, seeing as how I am in my 50's and this will have horrible consequences for decades to come, but I will survive. I know people, love people that will not be ok and there are millions I don't know personally that will not be ok. I also know people that caused this to happen and I don't think I can have civil words with them right now, maybe not at all.
Well said, Jennifer. I was having anxiety symptoms last night too (and have also had medication for it in the past, but not recently). And now I also feel (you described it perfectly) scrambled and numb and a little stuck – which is one of my least favorite feelings of all time. So I'm looking for and forward to that glimmer of hope that keeps giving me reasons to push ahead for good. I know it's there.
This is from my friend, retired judge LaDoris Cordell: "My thoughts on the election: We must not be deterred. We have no choice. We will be here tomorrow. No more patronizing messages is how. the foreseeable future is bleak. Still I know we are not alone. Our anger and pain must galvanize us and make us stronger. We must hold each other close and fight like hell!!"
I have gotten physically sick over this whole mess. Never been affected by politics this way in my life. I am almost 57 and am dumbfounded by this outcome. Note, I'm in Texas, I really thought it was going to be different.
I'm so sorry, Kim. I feel you completely. I know we need to take care of ourselves, physically and otherwise, but the stress feels unavoidable and takes a toll. I am continually working on that too. Any tips or support we can give each other on it are so so welcome.
I was only online at the start of last night’s chat, but it was definitely one of the few highlights of the evening. (At least, we’ll always have cheetos and sliders.) May we all keep each other feeling safe and held. Our people are all around us—we just might need to look a little harder now
Well said. And yes to the Cheetos memories. I don't think you stuck around long enough to hear my story about trying to be a sex worker in Cleveland, so I'll have to recount that for another day (haha but true).
Ok, so just knowing your wanna-be sex worker story is even out there has brightened my day. Do I need to scroll through last night’s chat? Or can I expect an It (Didn’t?) Happen to Me pronto?
You'll have to tell me about it because I am not able to watch right now. I look forward to hearing though, especially filtered through you if you don't mind!
Right now this is one of the few spaces where I feel safe, thanks to the AJPT team I work with every day.
That made me cry, Vanessa. In a cathartic supported way. You all make me feel safe too.
I just feel sort of numb and manic at the same time. A long time ago, I was in a dark place and I started medication for anxiety. I feel right now like I did before the meds kicked in. I have things I want to say but they are all coming at me at a million miles an hour. I am afraid if I write them down in a post or have a conversation I will sound like an absolute imbecile. I can't organize my thoughts.
I am not worried about myself. It will not be the life I was hoping to have, seeing as how I am in my 50's and this will have horrible consequences for decades to come, but I will survive. I know people, love people that will not be ok and there are millions I don't know personally that will not be ok. I also know people that caused this to happen and I don't think I can have civil words with them right now, maybe not at all.
Well said, Jennifer. I was having anxiety symptoms last night too (and have also had medication for it in the past, but not recently). And now I also feel (you described it perfectly) scrambled and numb and a little stuck – which is one of my least favorite feelings of all time. So I'm looking for and forward to that glimmer of hope that keeps giving me reasons to push ahead for good. I know it's there.
You said it perfectly. All these things are true for me too
This is from my friend, retired judge LaDoris Cordell: "My thoughts on the election: We must not be deterred. We have no choice. We will be here tomorrow. No more patronizing messages is how. the foreseeable future is bleak. Still I know we are not alone. Our anger and pain must galvanize us and make us stronger. We must hold each other close and fight like hell!!"
That's beautiful and perfect. Thanks to LaDoris for it and to you for sharing it with us here.
I have gotten physically sick over this whole mess. Never been affected by politics this way in my life. I am almost 57 and am dumbfounded by this outcome. Note, I'm in Texas, I really thought it was going to be different.
I'm so sorry, Kim. I feel you completely. I know we need to take care of ourselves, physically and otherwise, but the stress feels unavoidable and takes a toll. I am continually working on that too. Any tips or support we can give each other on it are so so welcome.
I was only online at the start of last night’s chat, but it was definitely one of the few highlights of the evening. (At least, we’ll always have cheetos and sliders.) May we all keep each other feeling safe and held. Our people are all around us—we just might need to look a little harder now
Well said. And yes to the Cheetos memories. I don't think you stuck around long enough to hear my story about trying to be a sex worker in Cleveland, so I'll have to recount that for another day (haha but true).
Ok, so just knowing your wanna-be sex worker story is even out there has brightened my day. Do I need to scroll through last night’s chat? Or can I expect an It (Didn’t?) Happen to Me pronto?
Ok, deal sister!
Hahha scroll for now if you feel up to it. But that's a really hilarious idea for me to write an IHTM on that or an IDHTM. Maybe I will!
I will scroll but you should also def write that one up!
Thanks for the beautiful, safe space.
Thank you thank you for making it that way also for all of us.
Kamala’s about to speak. I’m watching at NYTimes
They’re playing great music
You'll have to tell me about it because I am not able to watch right now. I look forward to hearing though, especially filtered through you if you don't mind!